I’m at odds with myself. I’ll be finishing in 2 weeks time. Have not even started looking for jobs, yet I seem to be blessed with many opportunities thrown my way. To many blessings might not be such a good thing. An chance to go to France for 3 months all expenses paid for but I would have to miss my convocation and work at late hours. Safety if something that I do not feel I have. Perhaps I have lost an opportunity to be a writer. Something that I have never even considered before actually.
I envy those who have a clear plan, those who knows what they can and want to do. For me I feel slightly inferior actually. Perhaps I have this perception that all those in the working class are professionals. Know what to do and how to do it. Do I have it? I don’t feel like it…
For now I pray that I have not lost everything. Hope that I will find something that I really want to do and that God will send his angels to guide and protect me. What I want? well…I want to improve my French and utilize it. Perhaps in teaching. Yet I fear I am not capable to.
I know that God will not give up on me, I just pray that I will see it and take a bold step soon, with those I care supporting me. Guess I’m waiting for the extra push. That's me, indecisive, over thinker. One day, things will change, soon…
