Sickness BEGONE!! pretty please~

Huh...sadness...I have been sick ever since the play ended. Which was lucky I guess. At least it didn't happen during the play~ Daniel says I'm weak as I fall sick quite often. I AM NOT WEAK! I'm human after all...a human girl whose immune system just so happens to be down lately. Hmm...maybe he's right

Symptoms; slight fever, cough and occasional runny nose. What really bother me is the fever. Usually I heal quite fast from fevers but not this time...huh...walking around whole day in a blurry haze, hacking and coughing and slight wheezing. HA! I'M TURNING INTO A ZOMBIE!!!Glo-w the living dead o_O Now I can't even speak as all the phlegm has covered my vocal chords. Silence of Glo-w? What's worse is that I'm suppose to be presenting tomorrow! Whee~ Cant wait to see what will happen then^^ yup yup...

The Big Day.

Finally the big day arrived. In a few hours all that we have worked for will pay off but there is still that sense of nervousness. What if we fumble our lines? What if the audience didn't like us? Sally and I were coughing, would the audience hear us? What if we lose our voices?! As Dr.Susan puts it we were performing for paying customers so like all business transactions, they aspect something for their money. All the uncertainties were about to be answered.

There was suppose to be a technical run then one last rehearsal but we decided to kill 2 birds with one stone. Least we tire our self to much. We joked and play around but as the final hours approaches, it seemed as if reality has finally seeped in. One last sharing with the tech people for closure. There were a few laughs but the nervousness could be sensed in our voices. One last warm up. "Channel your nervousness into positive energy." Pat our director told us.

We were more somber and the tension started to built. You could feel it in the dressing room as we sat quietly reading and re-reading our lines. I recorded mine in my mp3 but still the butterflies were there along with house flies, dragon flies, horse flies, damsel flies and what ever flies doing summersaults in our tummies as Sally puts it.

Behind the curtains one last group hug and wishes. No good lucks, just break a leg. I admit I was nervous but a nice kind of anticipation. I'm an adrenaline junkie so I was all hyped up for it. Peeking out, we saw the seats filling up. In all there were more than 110 PAYING audience. In my mind I kept repeating the 1st line as I believe that once the ball start rolling all would be fine. Everything would take its place.

The show must go on…

There we were seated on our stools in total darkness. The spot light was on me, my moment has come. I took in the atmosphere, smiled politely "Once upon a time at the national day celebration tea held in Kebun Istana, 3 fat virgins met for tea… " the words slip out of my lips.

No longer nervous I started to make eye contact with the audience. Secretly searching for a familiar face. I saw Ritchie my 3rd bro in a corner on my left. Joel, Shaun, Putput, Mei, Bobot and Putra on the centre right. (thanks guys, your presence meant a lot to me)

I took note of their reactions. Talked, as if the audience was one individual. Met their eyes. It was fun having a 100 odd people listening to our every word. For 1 hour 30 minutes it felt as if time has stopped for us. For 1 hour 30 minutes we were the center of attention, for 1 hour 30 minutes we were no longer ourselves but I was the woman as well as T.M Ong, Mr. Chee, Indian security guard, director of plays (whose accent was perfect a French guy told me, but ofcourse~), and Agony Auntie for Well Known Singapore Women's Magazine. Yes ALL of them. The virgins as well played a myriad of characters.

3/4 through the play I realized that, we could pull it off. The end was within our grasp.

Our hope was slowly bit by bit turning into reality. The feeling was bitter sweet as that would mean that we were to be ourselves after that. No longer the colorful characters that we have learnt to play.

"The strength here comes, from believing in yourself, from believing in your potential, from believing~"

The lights dimmed to total darkness as it was before.

The curtain call was done acknowledging and thanking the techies, back stagers and the audience. We were done. We were DONE.

The feeling that came after was a mix of self fulfillment, awestruck, and a general giddying effect of relief. Congrats were given, hugs were shared. It was surprising to have Dr. Susan hug each and every one of us individually as she always seemed so collected and calm. Still, it was our moment. The show did went on and we did break a leg, in a metaphorical sense.

So far we got good feedbacks. To those who saw us please let us have your feedback, honestly as we want to know how our short comings in case SOME of us want to dabble in acting *hint hint*

My bro did not expected his little sister to be able to achieve something like this.

So in the end I did it. I took the challenge and stepped out of my comfort zone. I preformed in KL PAC (Kuala Lumpur Performing Arts Center). How many people can say that they have acted in a real play and not some high school play.

The next morning I woke up with a smile on my face and my lines running through my head. Not to mention nasty phlegm and coughing. But it was done. It wasn't just a dream. It became a reality. I did what many dare not or have not the opportunity to do. I was lucky I know.

Thank you Kelvin for registering this course for me.

Thank you Dominic for fetching me back after class.

Thank you Dr. Susan for believing in us and putting up with us and giving us a ride in your Vios.

Thank you Pat for believing that I could actually carry a role of the woman.

Thank you Sal, Kas and Rina for letting me be your woman and for being my virgins.

Thank you Ray for being the experienced senior and sharing on stage tips with me.

Thank you Jeneft and Hooi li for helping me with my lines before sleeping.

Thank you Joel, Putput, and Shaun for being patient with me when I was ignoring you guys.

Thank you audience who actually paid to see 4 novice dabble in theater.

Thank you to all who encouraged me and believed in me. Once again I thank thee all~

My thunderstorms...

No,its not here yet, but I can feel it brewing. Spent the weekend with my dear friend Minie! Had a ball there. We cooked and ate and talked and she finally introduced me to the 2 men of her life in UPM , Mr. Teoh and leng chai.

Mr. Teoh is a middle age man with an old soul like us and a VERY young heart. At first I was a little taken aback as he is quite expressive and boisterous but once you have gotten accustomed to him he will make you think.we had a really nice mind stimulating chat. Not intimidating at all. hehe...people...disagreeing is not fighting, its just disagreeing. leng chai?hmm...didn't talk to him much guess its the wrong timing. Sorry minie.well...

There were a few low lights amongst the highlights.a white board fell on my shoulder.it's a little bruised now but it'll heal.Got fever on my way back from UPM.thanks to Amoeba i got back safely and slept from 6pm till7am.

*Thanks guys for all the get well soon sms. I'm all better now =)

Minie pls take some drastic actions against your neighbour.i love cats but that doesn't mean i leave them to pee n poo all over the pls.it's unsanitary and unsafe as well.

got through2 test on Monday and 1today and I'm lucky. why? well...I'm lucky because the people around me studied ;P yes i can hear Anu now tsking away.HA!

Eremiphobia.

I had a horrible nightmare last Sunday. No, it wasn’t about ghosts and vampires. In fact those who know me know very well that I enjoy those kind of nightmares. To me it would be like watching a movie, as sadistic as it might sound. No, far from that. I don’t really remember the details but I do remember a looming presence. It sucked all the joy out of me. All I felt was this growing void in me. The next thing I felt was this fear of loneliness. And this extreme weight on me. I could not stand it anymore and then I woke up.

I think it’s human nature to fear being lonely. We constantly seek out companionship to fulfill our void. Ever hear about those people who are desperate for a lover? Constantly rebounding from relationships after relationships. It’s the same thing. They are looking for someone that will make them feel complete. And once you have found it, to lose it would be devastating. I know 1st hand. For me I miss the intimacy. Not only (and not mainly) the physical intimacy but the emotional as well. The connection with another living being. Times when you know what the other person is thinking. Finishing each others sentences. Doing those little meaningless things that seem so significant then. Sometimes you can find it in a best friend but it’s different.

I know I miss that but that doesn’t mean I’m going to leach on the next thing with a xy chromosome! No, I’ll try to enjoy my single hood for awhile longer mind you. Just hanging out and chilling with my friends. Meeting new and interesting people. And a recent hobby of mine criticizing the world =P hehe…a hobby that comes with age I think.

Anyway that’s all for now.